The Trying, Tumultous, Terrific, Tremendous Twos

20 Jan

Ahhh, life. Today’s weekly report from daycare (with my two cents in parentheses):

“Eli is experimenting with ‘no!’ much this week (hoooooo boy, you’re not kidding). We have been explaining that there is a standard of behavior and that everyone needs to follow. His independence seems important to him and we let him exercise it when it’s appropriate. There are other times when it’s not–like pulling up his own pants–he wouldn’t even try, transitioning from one activity to another and when he’s being contrary during meals–not sitting, messing around. He was on the receiving end of a lot of consequences–standing for a while and missing out on a bunch of cool group concept time activities (because he wouldn’t pull up his pants), getting kicked out of snack time (he kept standing up). Eli was smitten with making houses all week. Playing in the cardboard house was probably a highlight for him. He and S squealed about using flashlights inside of it.”

Again, I wish they’d put things like “You know, A and T were total hellions this week as well” or something to that effect. It’d be nice to know we’re not the only ones and I can’t imagine that we are. Some of the things I know we can do better–we usually dress him and have never really offered to him the chance to pull his own pants up, etc. So we started doing that tonight, making him pull up his own pants, take his diaper off before his bath, helping him take his own shirt off. He was very resistant at first but got a little more into it the more we praised him. He’s just very anti EVERYTHING lately. He loves few things more than yelling “NO!” at you, even when it’s an activity he wants to do. Andy is beyond frustrated and I’m reaching my limit. Most of the time things are fine but it’s like one “no” snowballs into “no” to everything and it’s hard to knock him out of the rut. We have a parent-teacher meeting tomorrow at noon (not because of this, it’s just an annual thing they schedule) and I can’t say as I’m exactly looking forward to it.

I bought the Happiest Toddler on the Block just for some new ideas. I’m still staunchly against hitting him unless he hits us, I don’t want to hit him as a means of routine discipline. It’s obvious he acts up at daycare a lot more than he does here and I imagine that has a lot to do with competition for attention from other kids, etc. Granted, he’s no angel here. I also realize that these daycare notes can be hard to take and it’s hard not to feel like Bad Parent when you get a less than glowing report. He’s a wonderful boy and just being Two but I think there are definite ways we can give him more independence than he’s gotten so far so maybe that will go a little way toward him feeling sufficient and the need to be contrary will decrease some.

Give me lovely positive “He’s just two and they’re turds at this age” stories, will you?

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2 Responses to “The Trying, Tumultous, Terrific, Tremendous Twos”

  1. Lolli January 21, 2011 at 7:31 am #

    Saying NO is his way of asserting his independent 2 year old self(much like his mother at that age). You’re on the right track on letting him do as much for himself as he can. THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS! This to shall pass & all of you will survive. It’s tough though. Can’t punch the teacher out for picking on your baby, that’s frowned upon. Love

  2. Sue January 24, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    Independence genes come from this side of the family too! Discovering “No” is a big thing developmentally. Learning to handle that power appropriately takes a while. 😉 He is right on schedule.

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