What Do You Do As A Parent, incident #48572364

16 Jun

From Eli’s weekly report:

“Weekly Themes and Concepts: Clothes!

Eli has not been swearing at the BP!”

And here’s where I explain that. Eli is big lately on making up nonsense words and several times Andy engaged in a little game where Eli says something, Andy repeats it in a different tone, Eli alters the “word” a little, Andy repeats it, and it goes on from there. Eli thinks it’s hilarious. The other morning I was still in bed when Andy got home from a night shift of work and he heard Eli playing in his crib so he went and got him up. While Eli was on the changing table (I was listening to all of this on the monitor next to my bed), Eli started talking gobbledy gook words. He said something that sounded like “FUP!” and Andy stopped repeating because let’s be honest, the kid’s Ps are easily confused with Ks, Ds, etc. Andy then started ignoring him and continuing to try to dress him and Eli started to press the issue, perhaps to get a rise out of Andy: “FUP! FUT!”

Here’s where I would like to point out with my VERY STRONG PARENTAL DENIAL that he was NOT SAYING THAT WORD. However, I guess he was amused how Andy just sort of went into zombie mode and he chose to keep yelling it. It really did sound like my sweet little toddler was dropping the F-bomb. I heard Andy try to continue on, his voice a little higher now, trying in vain to distract him: “Eli, do you want to wear the stripes shirt or the dinosaur shirt?” Eli screams “I WANT TO WEAR THE FU** SHIRT!” Andy says, “Ok! Dinosaur!” Then he asks Eli to put his legs up for his diaper and Eli starts screaming “Fu**ing up! Fu**ing down!” over and over. And then about 20 “Fu**!” in a row. At this point I heard Andy put him down on the ground and he told him to go to the kitchen to get some milk. I was almost in tears from laughing so hard and at that point Andy bursts in the room frantically whispering, “WHAT DO I DO!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! DO YOU HEAR HIM??” And we had a little bonding freak out about how to handle this.

Meanwhile, Eli is off drinking his milk, eating his cereal bar and enjoying some Sesame Street. We knew that we should just continue to ignore it but then wondered if just zoning out was egging him on. It goes without saying that we made our most honest promise TO NEVER EVER PLAY THAT GAME AGAIN. I was dying and wondering if he would be a little Tourette’s kid at his daycare that day, dropping the F-bomb over and over and tainting all the other little kids. When Andy dropped him off, he warned Veronica and Nicolie of what had happened that morning but thank goodness it didn’t happen there and it hasn’t happened since. Since then, whenever he starts making up words I’ll tell him that that is a fun game but let’s use REAL WORDS to talk.

Funniest thing ever. Anyway, the rest of the report:

“He’s been making lots of noise–especially at free play and meals (sounding like a monster or a robot). He was quite stubborn (“no!) at the week’s start; he was on a short leash with Nic and I. Wednesday and Thursday were more pleasant. He was into the idea of asking questions about clothes: “What’s your favorite shirt?” and then stroking people with statements like “That’s cool!” when they gave a response. He seems curious about A (new kid)–but giving her a wide berth. We had a training session with Diane–he thought she was so cool with her water play toys (we washed trucks with paintbrushes!)”

Life goes on swimmingly in the household. Will graduated and is enjoying his first days of no school. His goal for the next month is to get a job and Andy and I have been trying to educate him in what it takes to do so. He’s applied three places so far and I have high hopes for him. Apparently he got one of his friends to take him to the apartment to get his computer so that explains where he is a good bit of the time (I didn’t realize this for a day or two). He had a great time on graduation night–the school or the senior class (not sure which) organized all these planned activities for the entire night called SPREE. They bus them around to various things–they went and played laser tag, they bowled, they arranged a hypnotist show for them. Julia came over the night after and had dinner and she and Will were cracking up while retelling what happened at the hypnotist show. It sounds like they had a great time.

Eli is a great help in the garden–he loves to water the plants so that is his official job. Once I pointed out that I water the big stuff and he waters the little stuff, he didn’t battle me over the watering can anymore. He waters my herb garden every few days and is very proud of his plants. We play kickball in the yard almost every night before it’s time for pajamas. I so love having this house.

My half is next weekend and Andy has to work nights–originally the plan was that he would take it off but so much has been going on he didn’t feel comfortable doing it. I have to be in Tukwila (about 20 mins south) at 7 AM and although I have great friends, nobody was volunteering to be here at 5:45 AM to drive me, drop me off, then watch Eli and come pick me up when it was done. I was text-complaining to Mike about not getting to do the half after all the training and lo and behold, he volunteered to do it. He’ll just stay here the night before (seeing as how we have a guest room and all) and I think he’s looking forward to some one on one time with Eli. Eli drew a picture of his family at Berry Patch and Mike was on it! I mentioned that to Mike a few weeks ago and dare I say I think that might have influenced his decision to volunteer!

Once Andy finishes his six pack next week (three days on, three nights on) and has recovered from that, we’re moving Eli to a toddler bed. He’s still not trying to get out of his crib but it’s just time to do it. I think if we wait until he tries to get out he’ll be six years old before that happens–just like when I was waiting to have him, Eli tends to be comfortable where he is. I’ve been talking up the “big boy bed” for a week or two and Eli’s excited. It’ll be on a week where both Andy and I are off so any sleep deprivation can be more easily dealt with.

Tomorrow we let Andy get some shuteye to recover from his night shift and then we’re off to IKEA yet again. We misjudged the amount of track we needed for the living room drapes so we need to get a few more. Then we’ll hang those and the rest of the window stuff that we have. Mike is coming over for dinner Saturday night and Saturday morning is the yard day at Berry Patch–the yard at their new place is kind of shabby and needs some work so all the families are getting together to put some hours in to clean it up. Sunday will be a day of rest (sort of–I have a 10 miler scheduled) and I’m looking forward to it! Such a great weekend ahead of us!

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