The insomnia …

5 Sep


The insomnia continues.  I thought I had experienced insomnia before but now I know it was just a little trouble sleeping.  Previously it was largely confined to a few nights a few times a year that I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep for an hour or two or maybe it took me a few hours to fall asleep.  The last three nights I’ve slept about 9 hours–combined!  I slept about four hours Sunday, three or four Monday night (not all at once) and then last night slept from about 10:30-10:50 PM, 5:30 AM-6:15 AM, then for about another 45 minutes this morning while Ben napped.  It’s pretty ridiculous.  I saw the doctor last week and he gave me an anti-anxiety med to help me sleep since it mostly seemed to be nights that I really needed the sleep (aka Andy was working the next day) that it occurred.  I’ve taken the med the last three nights and other than making me feel slightly more calm about not sleeping, it hasn’t helped.  So today I went back to him and he’s going to check for hyperthyroidism and also prescribed ambien to help me sleep.  If it works, I’m to keep taking it for a few days then try to taper off it and just use it when I need it.  The idea is that perhaps I’m having a hard time adjusting to all the postpartum hormonal shifts.  I threw out the idea of postpartum depression/anxiety but neither of us think that’s what it is–I have no baby/life/free floating anxiety and I certainly don’t feel depressed.  The only time I feel depressed or anxious is when I can’t sleep!  In any case, I’m keeping my fingers crossed this will help and that with a little more time, this too shall pass. 

Eli started Small Faces today and I guess it went great.  We can drop off at 8:30 and the kids get to play on the playground until class starts at 9 AM.  Since he didn’t know his teachers/classmates yet, I opted to drop him off at the start of class and he will do the playground first on Friday.  I wondered if he would be nervous but if I had agreed to drop him off at the front of the building, he would have been one happy kid.  He seemed a little annoyed I had to walk him in and then also walked him to his class.  He must have said “BYE MOMMY” about ten times before I actually left.  After the third or fourth time I told him I needed to drop off his spare change of clothes and talk to his teacher before I left and he was welcome to go do something else if he didn’t want to hang around me but to knock it off with trying to kick me out.  It’s not like I was crying over him at all but geez, kid!

He seemed to have a good time.  He said there were a lot of nice kids in his class and he liked his teachers.  Any other direct questions were answered with “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember”.  When did three become the new fifteen?  

Tonight is Will’s birthday and we had planned to go out for dinner but now Will has to work late and it is too late to take the little ones out to eat.  So we have altered plans and we’re ordering pizza and Andy baked Will a german chocolate cake (from SCRATCH!) for his birthday cake.  We will go out to dinner with Will tomorrow night.  Andy is taking Eli camping on Bainbridge Island Friday night in the first of what he hopes will become an annual father and sons camping trip–Ben will have to wait to go until next year or the year after.  Eli’s pretty excited.  I’m pretty excited for a few years down the road when Andy takes the boys with him and I get a weekend to myself.  Everybody wins!  Andy’s such a good dad, I think it’s pretty awesome of him to want to start this tradition with the boys.  

As you might have seen on facebook, Ben’s starting to smile some.  We still have to work mighty hard for one but he’s getting a little more free with the smiles.  Eli continues to mostly adore him–he thinks he’s cute, he likes giving him kisses but he’s also quite clear when he doesn’t want Ben around (mostly having to do with putting Eli to bed) and we try to honor that as much as possible so Eli has one on one time as well.  It helps that Ben is just as sweet as Eli was–just a mellow baby, easily contented, not hardly ever fussy and easy to take care of.  The head tilt continues although we do our darndest to keep his head turned to the other side and put him in the carrier so he’s not lying on that side more than when he sleeps. 

Off to another day.  I start the ambien tomorrow night since I need to be able to get up tonight since Andy works tomorrow.  Wish me luck!


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