Secrets are poisonous

4 Sep

Isn’t that the most ominous title ever?  We were driving to Andy’s work the other day and out of nowhere, Eli says, “Mommy, secrets are poisonous.”  Being the weirdo I am, I automatically start poring through every thing I’ve said for the last few months—“Am I keeping any secrets? Does he mean me? Does he mean Andy? What on earth is he talking about?  Secrets ARE POISONOUS, THE YOUTH IS CORRECT” and I ask, “What was that? It sounded like you said ‘Secrets are poisonous’ and he says, ‘Oh no, I said SEACRATES are poisonous, they’re this snake that lives in the water and I learned about them on Diego'”. I still have not managed to correctly google the name of that snake but if I ever see one, I will smack it with something for giving me a two minute long heart attack about the state of my life.

Happy birthday to my dad who turns a WHOLE WONDERFUL 73 YEARS YOUNG tomorrow! I hope you have a wonderful day full of online piracy, books, and responding to politically inflammatory Facebook posts from Andy 😉  Seriously, though, birthdays and holidays (and weekends, usually) make me really regret the whole idea of not living close to home so I’m sorry I’ve missed so many.  If you guys could all just move to a place that (1) wasn’t mainly Republican and (2) not so hot, we would move to be near y’all in a heartbeat. For real.  Anyway, happy birthday, Daddy!

Eli starts the Discovery for 5s program tomorrow.  He is BEYOND excited. He gets to see his friend Sadie, he’s in the “big kid” class before kindergarten, etc. We’ve had a lot of fun the last few weeks hanging out with Berry Patchers and keeping busy. I wanted to only put him in for four days a week but you have to pay for 3 or 5, so we’re paying for 5 but most weeks he won’t go the 5th day. He has his entire childhood to go to school five days a week and I want him that extra day, darn it!

I have also enrolled him in swimming lessons on the weekday he is off (Wednesday).  He didn’t do so well with the groups (MY EYES! YOU’RE GETTING WATER IN MY EYES! AAIIIIIEEEEEEE!, ETC.) and after talking with Jocelyn, we thought getting a one-on-one instructor would be the best bet so that’s what I did. So starting next Wednesday we go every week for “stroke development” classes, aka You Will Teach Me How to Get My Face Wet and Not Freak Out.  He needs to know how to swim and everything with us is so loaded, he’s used to fighting us on it.  I think somebody new (and the same person every week) will make a load of difference.

Ben is a maniac.  He’s just a maniac.  He will give you a big, wet, slurpy 1 year old kiss then smack you in the face for having your guard down.  He loves nothing more than to raise up to a standing position (which he is getting good at balancing now) and then smacking both hands on your face as he flings his body down.  I fully expect this kid to be base jumping by the time he’s 7.

This is what every night ends with around here:

He’s getting really good at standing, maybe he shouldn’t try it on the edge of a bed so much:

He loves the bath as much as Eli did, if you say the word “bath”, he’s off to the bathroom





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