Growing up is hard to do. (from Sept. 6th)

6 Sep

I would like to point out that I originally wrote this on Sept. 6th but was advised to hold off on posting it…I finally got the OK tonight.


Now I’m just playing with the design of the blog.  The problem is that I don’t want to pay for anything so I can only use the free blog designs and it doesn’t let me customize it like I want.  So cheap!  If I thought that more than 10 (and that’s being generous) people looked at this with any regularity, maybe, buuuutttt no.

What a long week.  Will’s birthday (and my dad’s! for which I will definitely NOT be winning daughter of the year because I forgot to call and REST ASSURED I am still beating myself up over that) was yesterday and just what a weird, depressing day. We had paid for Will’s last quarter in school since he had “forgotten” to apply for financial aid.  The fact that there was no aid wasn’t a big deal in itself, it was more that we wanted him to show he was invested in school and actually contribute some of his own resources to the effort. He paid for the first quarter himself and did reasonably well, so when we found out he had not applied for aid in time of course, we offered to pay for it.

In all honesty, I’m not really sure where we screwed up.  The quarter ended with nary a word from Will.  He’s had a part-time job at the popcorn place for a few months now but he had told me that business wasn’t great during the week so he had quite a few hours cut.  We didn’t bug him about grades.  I knew he was doing his music stuff (a large part making music for My Little Pony fansites, some not, but he’s never shown me the stuff that’s not Pony related) for the VAST majority of his time.  I knew the quarter had ended several weeks ago and there was no mention of grades.  Since maintaining good grades was a requirement of us continuing to fund his studies, I started bugging him about it a week ago.  And then five days ago.  And then four days ago.  And then I told him I knew the next quarter was starting soon and if he expected us to pay for the next one, we really needed to know how he was doing since he said he “wasn’t sure”.  He also said that he still “had not heard” from financial aid but he had put the application in.  I’m familiar with that process and it’s pretty cut and dried.

So two nights ago, he left for work (two hours before they closed and I commented on what a weird schedule that was) and said he would give me a printout of his grades when he got home.  Later that night, he texted Andy that he didn’t know his grades but knew they were bad and he had also gotten fired.  He said he was going to stay at his friend’s house while he sorted things out.  I was up early the next morning and he was in bed.  He slept until noon, he didn’t answer Andy’s many phone calls and texts, and Andy had to draw a line.  Will moved to his friend’s house for the time being.

I really love that kid but I think he’s got a bit of growing up to do.  It’s so hard because it goes against every parental (even step-parental) bone to give your kid the boot but he’s got some lessons to learn and he’s not going to learn them if we bail him out constantly.  He said he was fired because he “was five minutes late, twice”.  I responded that he knew they weren’t doing well and trying to cut hours, so why would he give them a reason to fire him?  He said, “Well, I’ve been late a bunch of times and they never did anything, so they’re just trying to get rid of me now.”

Let’s all bang ourselves against the head together, shall we?

I think the silver lining for me is that I have been that foolish.  I have bombed out of school and made really, really terrible decisions that have landed me in all sorts of really, really terrible places.  I’m fairly certain my parents were terrified at several points that I was going to end up in a gutter (or maybe not a gutter, but not achieving my potential, whatever that might be).  They forced me to tough it out and it really opened my eyes and taught me that I have to work for what I want.  I know I turned out okay (I THINK)  and I have confidence that Will will be okay, as well.  It’s just so horrible to have to force this upon a kid. Agggh.


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